The holidays are sold to us as the most wonderful time of the year. Warm gatherings, twinkling lights, traditions passed down through generations. For many people, that's genuinely true. But for millions of Americans, the holiday season is one of the most difficult stretches of the year — and the pressure to appear joyful makes it even harder.
## Why the Holidays Can Be Hard
The reasons are many. Grief is amplified during the holidays, especially for people who have lost loved ones. Financial stress peaks as expectations around gifts and celebrations create real economic pressure. Family dynamics that sit quietly the rest of the year come roaring back at the dinner table. Shorter days and less sunlight trigger or worsen seasonal depression. For people in recovery from substance use disorders, the season is filled with opportunities to slip and judgment if they do.
The American Psychological Association reports that nearly **40 percent of people say their stress increases during the holiday season**. For those already managing mental health challenges, the season can feel like too much to carry.
And yet — the expectation to smile through it all remains.
## The Loneliness That No One Talks About
Perhaps the most painful holiday experience is the one that goes unacknowledged: profound loneliness in the midst of a season that seems designed for connection.
Not everyone has a family to gather with. Not everyone is welcomed at the table. Seniors in care facilities, people who are estranged from family, individuals experiencing homelessness or housing instability — the holidays can sharpen the edges of isolation in ways that are deeply dangerous.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness consistently notes a spike in crisis calls during the holiday season. Reach-outs to hotlines increase, and the weeks following the holidays often see elevated rates of depression and anxiety.
## How to Support Someone Who Is Struggling
If someone in your life is having a hard time this season, here's what actually helps:
**Show up without an agenda.** You don't need to fix anything. Presence is the gift.
**Don't minimize.** "It's the holidays, cheer up!" is well-intentioned but harmful. Acknowledge that this time of year is genuinely hard for some people.
**Check in consistently.** One text during a difficult month isn't enough. Keep reaching out, even if responses are slow or brief.
**Offer specific help.** "Let me know if you need anything" puts the burden on the person who is struggling. "Can I bring you dinner on Thursday?" is actionable.
**Know the signs.** Withdrawal, changes in sleep or appetite, expressing hopelessness or being a burden — these are signals to take seriously.
## If You Are Struggling
You are not failing the holidays. The holidays are failing you if they don't make room for where you actually are. Give yourself permission to set limits. Step away when you need to. Ask for help if you can.
And please know: there is support available.
- **988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline** — Call or text 988, 24/7 - **Crisis Text Line** — Text HOME to 741741 - **SAMHSA Helpline** — 1-800-662-4357
You deserve warmth and care, especially during the hard seasons.
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*The American Flags Foundation is here year-round for every community, every season. Visit americanflagsfoundation.org to learn more.*